schlug water

For this coat.

That is all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duclod_Man
(why did people have such a witch-hunt for this guy, anyway?  he sent weird things to random addresses, so what?)

Also, why is Lincoln having some “”"”female singer/songwriter”"”" cover formerly good songs in all of their commercials now?  Why is everyone employing women with children’s voices and a crummy acoustic guitar to cover songs that were at least okay?  For instance, The Church’s ‘Under the Milky Way’–pretty sure that’s the title.  It’s an okay song!  It’s not okay when some lady is just singing it in that disgusting babyvoice so many women adopt to sentimentalize themselves– on a car commercial, even.

I was apoplectic when I heard ‘Burnin’ For You’ on there, also sung by probably the same lady.  Her voice really irritates me.  Which is funny, because I don’t mind that baby voice when it’s a song done pre-1980.  Claudine Longet covered a million songs I liked when not done by her, and I didn’t hate them when she sung them like a mewling infant…maybe I’m just harsher on contemporaries?  Maybe I’m just a dick.

kizz mowwy

has anyone ever properly explained what the deal is with the clown horn (or as it is known in my family, The Clown Horn) sample in that song “Molly’s Lips”?  I mean the original, not the Nirvana cover, which inexplicably removes the “ohnee-ohnee” bit.  I know it is for honest about children’s television host, that might’ve been a witch or something.  I remember last time I cared about looking up information on this song, I read something about a witch.

Canada is probably the place I’d be happiest, given the climate, political stylings, and that they probably air Kids in the Hall reruns moreso than any other country.  Maybe, I’m not one hundred percent.  Also, The Poppy Family, and The Poppy Family Historical Legacy Tour.

Closest I’d get for real would be Wisconsin.  If I do move there, I think I’d better memorize how to spell the state’s name–it has always been a source of great shame for my family and I, my spelling of the name of that state.  Why can’t it be Vermont?  what can go wrong there

Anyway, I might be moving to Wisconsin, where people will probably think I have a southern accent.  I’m wincing IRL (in real life)

It should be totally acceptable, it isn’t like I have much here in Indiana that makes me want to stay.  Leave the fast-paced field of cashiering at what is apparently the only retailer hillbillies are aware of within a fifty mile radius of the Racing Capital of the World?  Not a chance, baby!  Abandon the sound of drag-racing and trains full of future high fructose corn syrup solids that gently rock me to wakedness at 4 in the morning?  Absolutely no, guy!  You’ll have to pry the soy and cornhusks from my cold, dead hands.

seriously though this state is pretty much pfffsssshhhawwwfffttt

My ideal location is wherever the odds are best that there will be one or two people around who “”"”"get”"”"” at least mid-level percentages of my “”"”"thing”"”"”, and they get exponentially higher the further north, further east, and possibly further west you go.

so lock up your daughters milwaukee because i might just tell them about some stupid song i listened to when i was six and then oscillate between laughing at things derisively and feeling guilty about the way i’ve laughed at things!

did Laverne and Shirley ever live in milwaukee?  thanks in advance

you know what is lamer than believing in one god ? believing in more than one

i’m talkin to uuu, asutruurururururuuu

whatever, the one that worships probably the nordic gods, and is probably just a cover for people who believe in zion conspiracies to get together without simon wiesenthal ))spspspsppsp?)) breaking up their meetings

i think that was the ’sect’ that did the pig slaughter i went to/ good for them

yeah, it was for freya.  pretty sweet, it was all pretty, pretty sweet/cool

eh then maybe it isn’t a race thing, because they didn’t seem very racist to me, but it isn’t the sort of thing that immediately jumps out at you at a ritual pig slaughter.  what is jumping out at you is the pig screams mostly

i bet at least one of the people at that slaughter had at least ONCE masturbated to a piece of furry erotica
I also bet at least one of them had heard a death in june song and didn’t immediately start lollin at the ku ku ku noises, maybe even ascribed some stupid reality to them
i bet at least eighty percent of them owned a shirt with a painting of a wolf on it
hmmmm

some women on a perfume message board i read (hey shut up JERKS) totally fight about “paths” and “magic” and such

it’d be nice to be able to believe in something, something other than the magic in a young girl’s heart and thinking you’re having a goodtime with the one that you just met, kicking sand from beach to beach, your clothes are soaking wet
but then you look around and see
a shadow on the run
(paper sun)
don’t be too upset because
it’s just a paper sun

something like that

but anyway, it would be nice to have faith, or belief in something intangible.  it isn’t like I ever just sat down and worked it out with myself, just went through the lines and decided i didn’t believe in god or ghosts or magic or anything fun, i just never did.  There was no revelation, no hosed-down bush, it was just pure from the very beginning–I didn’t believe in any of it.  Ghosts, UFOs, God, demons, angels, cryptozooligical things (alright so that one i might sometimes be convinced of, depending on the photos like that montag monster oh my godddddd that thing was awesome for the few minutes i didn’t know it was just a raccoon corpse), but zombies, vampires, whatever.  I never was afraid of things like that, I never admired things like that, I never thought things like that existed.  Not once, not for a moment—well, not that I remember.  I’m sure as a very small version of myself, I could’ve been convinced of a lot more than ten year old me–where I actually start remembering things.  Anyway, I’d like to discover some sort of thing that makes me go ooohhh well that sounds entirely plausible and like something I’d enjoy devoting that spiritual section of my mind to–but it has yet to happen.  I just can’t believe in anything like that, as much as I’d like to.  Not just for myself, but for my family.  I’d really love to think that when they die, or the ones that are currently dead, I’d just enjoy feeling as if their ’spirit will live on’, or something like that–something that softens the finality of death, right?  I just can’t convince myself.  I hope I’m wrong, I’d much prefer a world with something else, something beyond the scope, I guess.  I just don’t see it happening.

GETTIN DEEP N HEAVY UP I NTHISBLOG

while we’re revealing secrets, you and i, i’ll tell you a pretty cool one.  if you are into cool secrexxx i guess:
sometimes i tuck hair from one side of my face into the ear of the opposite side, and slip it across my upper lip so it looks like i have a mustache, and i look at myself and dance with a mirror to prog-metal
my name is charles
and i really hate when people talk about “twitter” in any capacity at all

GOODNIGHT DUDES

where will

Alright, damnit. There was like, this website I used to read.  I don’t remember the name, it probably was just some guy’s first name, and then something to do with movies.  It was geocities, or something, who knows.  Not fancy, didn’t own the domain.  It was pretty okay, it had reviews of various terrible movies.  It is probably long gone; I was skimming it as a preteen.  These movies I had never heard of, not too surprising for a kid, but they also are movies I have spent the rest of my life not noticing/knowing about.

Anyway, I’m on quite a “hey guuurl remember when you were 12 n shit” kick, so I want to find one, ONE movie from this website “”"IRL”"”".  Something today totally reminded me of it–and that movie was, I swear to christ, it was titled something like this:
Chili Con Carne.
Chili Con Carnage.
Chili Con Evil.
Chile Con _____.

The thing is though, it wasn’t that clever of a title.  It could’ve involved Chili, Chile, or really, anything I guess.

I read this review probably within the years of, 1997-1999?  The website had a color scheme of black, and maybe some stars that were so popular as screensavers/backgrounds back then.  It wasn’t ugly, it was actually pretty well put-together.  Anyway, that review, and the ‘movie’, for some reason has stuck with me pretty much my entire life.  Along with a song that is attached to it, that just sounds like somebody saying “Martyr maaartyyyyrrr” in a heavy, sort of lilting Boston or Hispanic-type accent.  This memory is ridiculous.

I think it might’ve been the best day of my life?  I just remember the whole thing so vividly; and yet, as far as I can tell, the movie does not exist.  There is no chili movie in the world.

So, hey, internet, I got a question.  Here is a series of informative search-strings to plug into your Google:
-Chili was involved in this movie, at least to some extent.  I mean the food.  There might’ve been a cook-off?
-The main guy’s name might’ve been Eric, or the guy who ran the website’s name was Eric.  The name Eric is in there.  I bet right now you think you’ve got it, you think I’m totally an idiot that is transposing a memory of that episode of South Park with the chili into a totally different memory, in a totally different media format.  You’re wrong, dick.  Dead wrong.
-Cannibalism was involved, and it might’ve been played for laughs.  But it was the sort of dry laughter that only serves to be further creepifying.  Look guy, I already told you, it isn’t that episode of South Park.  I know, I know, pretty much the same plot, right?  No.  This was a live-action film, starring some thin, dark-headed Latino actor, who had a very eerie sort of mouth.
-The reviewer did not like the movie, but I think conceded it had some interesting ideas or something.
-It was incredibly cheap, and I thiiiink (this is reinforced by the fact I can’t find a single thing noting a movie like this existed, ever) independently released.  I mean probably by the thin, dark-headed Latino who played what may or may not have been a witty cannibal named Eric who ate chili made of people and competed in a cook-off.
-Oh, romance too.  If I recollect, the girl was pretty.
-The review had images, one of the dark-haired Latino lead looking eerie, sort of drained, unhappy, listless, and his mouth was weird.  Probably half open, you know, agape?  The way a mouth naturally hangs if you don’t will it closed.  Another was a pot of chili, closed, that may have been a drawing.  The movie was not animated.  Then, the letters that comprised the title (Probably ‘Chili Con Carne’) were very cartoonish, looking like sort of a children’s title or a circus movie.  That could’ve been the actual design for the title by the film-makers, or something the website used as a banner to the review.

Anyway, this movie, review, website, song has been rolling in my brain for years; probably preventing me from learning math or something, because curiousity about that day in my life just takes up so much room.  I’m hearing this song, it is some sort of ‘punk rock’ that I found on Audiogalaxy (I’ve about given up ever finding this song, because I know so little other than possible shouting of the word “Marttttyyyyr” in a unique way and it was supposed to be punk), and reading the shit out of some film review website.  Reviews of movies I’ll never see, and never had the opportunity to see.  That was me as a kid, but I just want to know why the hell this particular bit of nullingness has remained with me for all these years.  Was the review funny?  Was it my first taste of dark comedy?  Cannibalism, was I not that aware of it yet?  Was it what made me realize I enjoyed obscurity for no reason other than the fact that I could say I saw/read/heard some shit very few other people had seen?

Some synapse fired the hell off while I read that review; was that the exact moment I became a Woman?  I mean, seriously, I should not remember this so vividly.  It wasn’t a dream; I read the review/visited the site many times.

Oh my god, a hat might’ve fit in somewhere, or else I mistook the pot of chili drawing for a hat.  It looked like a derby.  A derby hat full of people that have been made into chili?  I don’t know.

All I know is, some weird-ass crazy thing happened inside my mindgrapes while I was looking at that derby hat of meat.

So here is my beacon,
ATTN ALL PEEPS GOOGLIN BOUT MEMORIES OF CANNIBAL MOVIES ABOUT CHILI:
-Eric
-Latin
-Cannibal
-Chili
-Spooky
-Black humor
-90s
-Made in 80s?
-no earlier than the 70s.
-Not that South Park Episode
-Romance
-Weird
-Obscure
-Cheap
-Chili Con Carne, Chili Con Evil, Chili Con Carnage, Chile Con Carne, Chile Con Evil, Chile Con Carnage.
-derby hats

NOW TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS UP^^

pssssss- the song is not Rusted Root- Martyr, BUT funny enough I had that song accidentally downloaded back then as well.  This song sounded a lot tinnier, a lot more like another favorite song of mine back then….that day…………The Templars, A Clockwork Orange…Horra’ Shoooow

At first I thought it might’ve been the Templars as well, it is not.  Nah, this one is tinny, odd voice, and pretty much the phrase” Martyr, Maaaaartyyyyr” repeated over and over again, with a specific inflection for the last ‘martyr’.  Probably had more than that, but I only paid attention during choruses back then. PuuuuuuuuunXxxXXXROxXxXXX hard2undastand4kids

ice qube

Today was a good day.  Obama is officially the president, LOST starts tomorrow,  I have the day after that off, and I get paid Friday.

I also went on a major “I’VE GOT A SUM OF CA$$$H BURNIN POCKETHOLES SO WHO WANTS SOME SCRATCH, INDIANA?” shopping excursion.  I went to Bath and Body Works, Beauty Brands, Half-Price Books, Target, and Barnes ‘n’ Noble.

HOW EXCITING HUH

Anyway, got some sweet nail polishes (finally, one of the ChG OMG Holo Collection, even though it is the sort-of ugly yellow/gold one :_(), qt li’l sextet of the new Korres line of shower gels (I dig the orange cinnamon one, the rest are perfectly adequate, and for eight dollars for the little set–toatsome), The Israel Lobby finally out in paperback (b4 u judge its totally not some anti-semetic book, it’s just a study of why exactly our government has such history with Israel and still maintains boundless comraderie, sometimes to our own detriment—tldr: it isnt about jewish people), Rue Morgue (My Bloody Valentine 3D~!~!~!~still don’t know if it is showing in Indianapolis flurkin midwest so l~a~m~e), worowoodwododdsss

Half Price Books was awesome today.  Someone dropped off a TON of Jim Nabors albums, seriously, probably his entire discography.  Lots of Andy Williams, and even some Martin Denny and Arthur Lyman exotica!  I should’ve bought more.  Instead, I got: Petula Clark, “Color My World/Who Am I?” (has a cover of Cherish on it!) , Rod McKuen, “Live at Carnegie Hall” (I have it on mp3 of course, but cmon d@gwo0d it is Rod McKuen!), and finally–the most awesome–a soundtrack.  A soundtrack to:
MONDO CANE#2

I’m like, what?  The soundtrack is all like, sup chelsea

I googled it just a second ago, totally available on a music blog buuuuut man, shoot, Mondo Cane!  Apparently, it isn’t even the original soundtrack; just someone’s ‘impression’–something of that nature.  But, Mondo Cane!…2!

I’ll take it!

Also, did you know Lydia Lunch and Exene Cervenka wrote a book?  They did.  I own it?   I’m like, hm.  Whatevs.  Five dollars.

I’m an impulse shopper. If I see something that vaguely fits in with my interests, either past or present, I will buy it if it is under ten dollars–no questions or hesitation.

Today was a pretty alright day, yeah, all together.

LOST IS BACK 2MORA SO0O0O HAPPZ

rapidshare limitations

dragging me down! Also, what is the deal with the small amount of Cher uploads in the torrent site/p2p community? I can find quite a few “Greatest Hits” and “Solid Golds!” of hers, but very little in the way of actual albums.

Especially any early era Cher. I’m specifically looking for 66-75, a group of years which apparently has a pox on it when it comes to the file-sharing community. I’ve found a Rapidshare set of her earlier work, but you know how Rapidshare is. Download something, wait an hour. Fie on them, a fine fie!

In the way of music, I got my XXXclusive Giddle & Boyd heart-shaped and absolutely adorable record today, “Going Steady with Peggy Moffitt”. It’s 44/1000, signed by Giddle but not by Boyd Rice, unfortunately. I figured it would’ve been both, but eh, take what you can get! I’ve not listened to it yet, because my record player is totally broken, but I hope to remedy that soon.  Has some excellent looking songs on there, ‘Contact’ and ‘Rocket USA’ I’m particularly waiting to hear.

I’m really, really dreaming of one of those USB record players. They are around one hundred dollars, and I presently have around eleven dollars, but it would be the best thing around. I’ve read some reviews, and they aren’t the most sound piece of machinery ever, but just being able to rip from vinyl would be enough for me.

I paid for my last.fm subscription again this month, after about 6 months without.  I’m traveling between houses, so it’s worth it to have a little piece of my home hard-drive with me. This laptop has a minimal amount of space, and is presently taken up by a whole lot of music blog spur-of-the-moment downloads.

There are only so many times you can listen to Bill Bissett and the Mandan Massacre before getting over the kitsch value. That amount of times is two (2).

So the personal last.fm station was worth the three dollars this month.  Also, it allows me to see who has looked at my last.fm page, which is not very interesting outside of the strange revelation that most people who visit my page are from Spain or Slavic nations.   The Slavic makes sense, as I always picture that region to be sepia-toned with a soundtrack similar to my taste, but Spain?  Seems too cheery to be interested in what funeral dirge I’m listening to.

As for Rapidshare’s premium option, it’s fourteen dollars a month and probably totally worth it, I just do not have the fourteen to spare presently. Pathetic? I need a job.

Lately, I’ve spent a lot more time trying to find covers of songs I already know I like, done in the exact style they were originally intended to be performed. So, no techno remixes of ‘I Want a Lip’. I’m not looking to break out of my current pattern, I just want to find every version of ‘Goin’ Out of My Head’ ever done. What a gorgeous song.

alright, for a blog I assumed was going to be interesting, this has turned out poorly. Whenever other people go on about their musical interests like the whole world is watching, I think it’s a bit silly. So, I will just end it here. I’d murder about any animal set in front of me for a USB record player, though. Except a bear. Not worth the risk.
BOY THIS WORDPRESS IS SHAPING UP TO BE THE BEST IDEA IVE EVER HAD