guts color

Why is it that every which way I look on the internet, there is some sanctimonious European insisting that all Americans love blood, sensationalized visions of gore, and assorted viscera? Also, that somehow, that makes us as a singular hive mind inferior to their singular hive mind?

America is a big country, a huge country. You know, the sort of place where a lover’s voice will carry across the mountainside: “stay alive!” SCHHH HAA! Big Country, of course. Anyway, we’re a very large, very diverse country in terms of population and mass morays. You can’t have it both ways: You can’t suggest that America is a Judeo-Christian wonderland that won’t allow so much as a single pasty to air on television, and all the same be a morally bankrupt nation of monsters that get off on extreme sadism. Those two groups are not the same, and some of them live here, sure. So do plenty of people who don’t fall on either side of the line graph. It’s a big country; lots of subgroups, lots of varying interests, lots of cultural identities that you can’t just boil down into Tramps, Cowboys, and Ghouls.

It’s incredibly insulting to suggest otherwise, and while it’s occasionally in vogue to be irreverent about the United States in my circle particularly, it’s more acceptable from one of our own. You know, sort of how like a man can joke around about his wife, but his co-workers can’t say the same things about her.

I don’t claim to know the ins-and-outs of every country in the EU, or the UK. I’ve spent a little time overseas, but certainly not enough to cop more than a visitor’s feel for a nation. I couldn’t immediately assume upon meeting a Dutchman, much of anything. I only wish the same courtesy could be extended to Americans.

I’m no patriot, and I’ve been told to love it or leave it more times than I can count. If emigrating was half as simple as yelling a mass-produced bumper sticker at somebody, I would. I’ve never waved a flag, I’ve been inside of a church once, I read books, I’m not a Republican, and I don’t think Bill Engvall is funny. There are many just like me living here, even in the Heartland. My entire family, give or take one or two outliers, for instance. To consider America period just as a wash is ridiculous.

Now, one thing I have in common with the nightmare-realm version of the average American citizen is that I love schlock, horror, and gore. The more shocking, the more over-the-top, the more disturbing, the better. It’s a thrill I just can’t deny. Horror has been my favorite genre since I started being aware of media. I like to watch. As do some people, but there are plenty here who would shield their eyes from a particularly forceful slap aired on network television. These dichotomies exist everywhere. To act as if only Americans are susceptible to the bread and games, gladiatorial entertainment of old, is to deny a basic quality of some humanity: the nuanced differences between each and every single one of us, no matter from where we originate. There will always be some people interested in whatever it is you find distasteful, it’s not limited to one country, or one group of people. I won’t be convinced that happy slapping English chavs would turn their noses up at Texas Chainsaw Massacre, tut-tutting the violent content. We have puritanical citizens, we have people who like to watch. As do all countries.

Besides, what of Eurotrash and Eurosleaze cinema of the 60s and 70s? Did that just not exist, was I mistaken in my knowledge of those types of films? Were they all actually done here in the States with some poor, innocent Brits’ accents dubbed over our blood-lusting American actors? Exploitation films of all styles have come from all over this fine globe, America is not solely to blame. We’re not some den of ghouls, penetrating ourselves with our crucifixes erstwhile watching 24 hour live feeds of nationwide suicides.

Let’s not forget, some of the most “extreme”-branded horror films these days are coming from the East. The works of Miike, The Untold Story, Dumplings, and these are just the few that I’ve seen. Plenty more can sourced.

The most over-the-top, explotive film that I’ve ever seen, Salo, was an Italian feature.

Maybe that’s different, maybe that’s cinema. Maybe our problem is that we regularly feature gun violence in otherwise ‘family’ entertainment. To that, I agree, it’s a bit of an issue. As do many Americans. We exist. It’s a big country, and a whole hell of a lot of us aren’t happy with every single thing this big country does. To say we’re one nation, completely undivided, with our one mind underneath the Earth that just produces ridiculous opinions for each and every one of us to share, is just foolish, and very unbecoming.

And that’s why we need to start terraforming Mars.

–My Letter to Congress

dash it

John Edwards, for having gotten his bone on a couple times, is declared a hypocrite by Barnicle and Schuster on Hardball.

First, I fail to see how infidelity would immediately make all his previous statements, specifically those regarding poverty in this country, void. They’re throwing this story up as if John Edwards was running on the Family Values ticket, like he’s a Promise Keeper, and like his personal fidelity has any bearing on his political aspirations or the platform on which he stood.

Also, I hope this story doesn’t run too long. After all, the man is no longer a sitting senator, and he’s not presently running for office, so his story should really be trumping the Ted Stevens bribery situation, who is, by the way, still holding office. Don’t be mistaken, it’s not just Stevens who should be held accountable for all this, but it’d be nice if at least one of them was getting as rough a public sodomizing as Edwards is sure to get for being a cad to his wife.

Mostly, it seems to me that the media never had much in the way of love for John Edwards. He came off a bit sharky, a touch used-car salesman, and let’s not forget that haircut of his! Who possibly could? After all, a man who is running for President should be rough and tumble, pausing only to trim his hair on occasion, with the same scythe he uses to fell wild brush at his luxurious farm in Texas! That’s a real man. See where that got us? Maybe it’s time to elect a guy who actually gives a shit; about his hair, about international opinion of us, about the future, about the people in this country that make under a hundred grand?

Really though, the disdain some members of the press have for Edwards have some very transparent motives: he was talking the talk about poverty, and not ‘walking the walk’. Wealthy people tend to spit up their 1857 Infant’s Blood when one of their own says something about the poor, because, after all, if you’re not actively engaged in something, you shouldn’t have an opinion on it. It’s completely circles within circles though, because the impoverished have little-to-no power in the government, as they can’t produce the funds needed to run a campaign, and need representation in the higher castes.

So, some need to speak for the many, but when they do, they’re hypocrites, because they spend the money that they have on the things that they need. For instance, a presentable haircut on a man who is going to be on camera eighteen hours out of the day. Or say, a former Vice President lives in a nice home, but publicly speaks out against global warming, all the while never suggesting American’s have to move out of their homes and back into caves. Since he’s not chewing twigs and living under a bed of grass, he’s not to be taken seriously. Because, of course, a man who HAS been living naturally for the past ten years isn’t going to be called a crackpot moonbat and immediately discredited as an ‘extreme leftist loon’. You’re damned if you, damned if you don’t. If you’re in the thick of it, you’ve got no power or you’re ridiculous. If you’ve got power and you are concerned, you’re a hypocrite until you move to the woods and give up all material goods.

YOU BLUE BLOOD PIG HOW DARE YOU GIVE A FUCK UNTIL YOU LIVIN IT
–luvs, some other rich dudes

As an aside to Mike Barnicle: talking about hypocrisy, you really want to play that? As a journalist, aren’t you supposed to substantiate everything, confirm sources, and…write about events in the way that they actually occurred? Isn’t that the sort of basic, primary thing you’re supposed to do?
So, one could say, a journalist who doesn’t write his own material and doesn’t confirm sources would be a hypocrite, yes? It’s less of a jump than politician fucks around, so he can’t be taken seriously about the issues anymore, right? Well, it’s a good thing you’re not known for such behavio–
WHOOPSY DOODLE!

How did you land this sweet gig on Hardball, anyway? You should’ve been shamed right out of Washington, just like you were shamed right out of Boston.

As for Schuster, meh! I generally like the guy, but I think he’s off on this one. I’ll give him this though, he’s a little doggy on any politician’s ankles, he doesn’t play favorites. I can respect that, even though he’s absolutely buying the line on this Edwards story.

And that’s my…complaint…about Hardball…of the daaaaay!

plusplus calcii

Covergirl’s Lashblast is a fair-to-delightful mascara, I think it will take the place of L’oreal’s Telescopic on my lashmites. Stalashmites. All lashes have mites. Did you know that?

Did you know that?

Now you do, I suppose.

Too Faced has a new one out, Lash Injection Pinpoint. Looks pretty standard, or rather, a former standard. No one is making the micro wands anymore. How am I supposed to get to the inner corners, the roots of my bottom lashes, and any other hard to reach lash-based places? Maybe Lash Discovery is still around. Let’s hope, let’s dream, because nothing has made my lower lashes as pronounced as that one. Also, Pinpoint is around eighteen bucks I believe, as much as regular Lash Injection at least, compared to Lash Discovery’s price, somewhere more in the five range. Miss it, miss it.

Givenchy’s new Phenomen’eyes is the most innovative wand design I’ve ever seen. A vibrating brush, PAH! I’ve been using my wrist to do just the same action for years, so, no big deal there, except maybe less wrist strain. Phenomen’eyes looks more like a mace than it does look like a mascara wand, and I would love to just beat the hell out of my eyelashes with it. Almost thirty dollars, so that sort of puts a damper on the proceedings. Especially for mascara, you’ll be throwing it out in three-to-six months, anyway.

Urban Decay has relaunched their lipsticks, including the much-heralded Gash. When they were first discontinued, I was probably about fifteen or sixteen, and absolutely horrified to wear bright lips. So it was no skin off my nose then, but since discovering the joy of a lip focused face, I’ve been looking at old photos of Gash and sighing. Memories, like the kind we never had…

I’m also into Jilted, Hot Pants, Trainwreck, and Lovechild, at least from available online swatches. I suppose I’ll have to see them in person, though. The packaging is very cute, with the little dagger, but I guess they won’t be able to be stored upright because of it. I’ll have to take a closer look when I actually see the product.

I’m also ridiculously pumped for MAC’s Cult of Cherry collection coming out later this month. I need a job so, so bad. I’ve got a laughable sum of money left in my bank account, and nobody calling me back for work. I might have to just suck it up and work at some fast food place. It’s not that I’m too good for it, I just really don’t want to stink of cheeseburgers every night after work. As much money as I sink, sank, sunk into fragrances, it just seems all the more a waste. Maybe that won’t even happen? Do you smell like cheeseburgers when you get off work, if you work at like, White Castle? I know pizza shops have a smell that lingers, but what of other fast food? Hm.

jobbin round1

so I guess I should get a job. I applied at Blockbuster and Hollywood Video, even though I hate movies. I plan to take it down from the inside. I filled in both applications online, as most businesses these days don’t even have the option of a paper application, so that was convenient I GUESS

they asked a lot of silly questions, Hollywood Video did at least. Blockbuster’s had questions that you could pretty quickly figure out the angle, and how they’d use your answers to gauge whether or not you’d be a good asset to their rental community.
Hollywood Video though, I don’t know what company they outsourced their questionnaire portion to, but it read much more like a personal ad, or some sort of OkCupid quiz. Am I a thrill-seeker, am I often happy or sad for no reason whatsoever, do people make fun of me often, those were all questions.

Maybe they wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to jump off the roof after I was hired.
Maybe she thought she could f l y . . .
Maybe she thought she could t r y . . .
Just once in this so-called l i e f e . . .
DJ HIT THAT BUTTON I’VE GOT A RECORD HERE THAT IS GOING TO BE SOMETHING YOU KNOW THAT NEW SOUND YOURE LOOKING FOR
WELL AMEN BROTHER HERE IT T-I-Z IS !

The above: An approximation of my first day on the job.
The below: A visual approximation of the first job of the day.

feel that big italian rhythm
rah rah rah RAMP IT UP => => ‘N’ OUT <== <==

anyway lets hope they hire me! :0) Luckily nothing associated with my internet handles can be tracked to my real name AT LEAST I THINK maybe the video stores have hackers that work for them
attn: hackers of hollywood video HHVs
i want you to know that im cool with all yall im betting you are members of internet humor forums or something and you wear glasses and have ugly hands BUT thats okay, we’re cool

i’ve g2g buy some perfume oils named after snakes on ebay so i’ll see you guys later maybe next time i’ll be workin hard and takin a break from all my labor to tell you of my adventures REGALE AND LARK MY PEERLESS ASSOCIATION FOR YINE BARD IST OFT TAKE TO WEARY BATTLE OF MARCONIAN WISHES FOR COMMANDS AND MONEY
ugh who keeps opening up their garage door in the neighborhood how rude

these hillbillies also set of fireworks at all hours of the night and days of the month ;_(