sail tonight

my big trafficking trip to Singapore is officially CANCELED.

You’ll have to get the horse from domestic sources, guys, it’s just no longer worth the risk.

On the real, I have somehow completely escaped knowledge of Singapore’s incredibly draconian drug policy. To think, something I could potentially be outraged about, and I’m not even aware of it! To put it succinctly but probably more or less factually a half-truth (this is a blog, after all), you may very well be executed for shipping in a certain class of drugs, above a certain amount. Murdered, killed by a foreign government, an enemy combatant in the global war against drugs, and there is nothing your home country will really be willing to do. Big trading partner, you understand.

I’m absolutely and wholly opposed to the death penalty, it’s a very black and white issue for me, there is NO circumstance under which capital punishment should be an option, let alone be mandatory. There is no jury, as far as I can understand the Singaporean law, it’s a solitary judge. You have one chance at an appeal, if that fails (as appeals oftentimes do), you’ll be hanged. Hanged, even! They just ain’t giving a fuck, no cop-out “humane” injection, no electric chair, nothing that could possibly be seen as an attempt at treating the convicted well enough. In some ways, I think that’s a positive. If people could actually see the brutality of hanging, eyes bugging out, neck breaking, wastes being expelled all over town square, they might think twice about the whole thing.

Not only that, there is also this: If you are in the company of people who are suspicious, or you have just exited a building which may well be a den of inequity, piss. You’d have to submit to a urine test, if some beat cop in Singapore thinks you’re up to no good. Have to.
I can’t even very well explain how bothered I am by this. Drugs, drugs is all. They’ll exist no matter how many 20 something Australians you imprison, no matter how many fingers you shake, no matter how many necks you break, people will get drugs whenever they need them. OH MAN CHEQQQ OUT THE RHYME

You can’t stop it. I realize Singapore had a particular problem with drug trafficking, heroin in particular, so their laws are a far bit more stringent than say, America’s, because we’ve never really been as much a hub as Singapore. I understand that, and I’d understand if the prosecution of drug offenders there was more harsh. Death penalty though, that is just the absolute silliest thing I’ve ever heard. Never in a thousand years of hearing ridiculous American Conservatives’ plans to win the war on drugs, have I heard capital punishment for traffickers even come up.

I don’t know a whole lot about the laws overseas, it’s not exactly something I figure I’ll ever have to worry about, but this one, from what I understand, is a real dooz. And coming from a country known for it’s sex tours and human trafficking, it’s quite a lark. I can’t find much on the prosecution of offenders in that regard, only the ‘Employment of Foreign Workers’ act, which is hard to analyze, but doesn’t seem to include the phrase “WE HANG SEX TOURISTS HAVIN SEX WITH 12 YEAR OLDS TOO OK”, so clearly the priorities are right on! Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m really having trouble finding any information of sex trafficking legislation, in any country. I’m probably using the wrong keywords.

Also, this:
11. “The foreign worker shall not indulge or be involved in any illegal, immoral or undesirable activities, including breaking up families in Singapore. “
Dead serious, Singapore? Or else what, honestly? Home-wreckers go to the gallows as well? Assorted skanks all lined up against a wall, work permits getting revoked, caned against their pert buttocks. Hothothot. I’d really like to know if anyone has been charged with ‘breaking up a family’, or anything nearing that language, in Singapore. The crime of seduction, I suppose.

This is why supercomputers need to dictate law and policy, world-wide. I’m all for the NWO, as long as they’re robots. Robots with sweet cans, cans so sweet they break up families.

they gabbin

Let’s talk internet, you and I.

More specifically, who you’re liable to run into, if there ever will be an official GENINTERCON:
Enter Bill122460.
I’m no biographer, so over to you, Bill!
“Name: Bill
Age: 47

I am 5 foot 6 and 145 lbs I have brown hair and hazel eyes.

I am honest and out going in life I have been thurll hell in my life I have seen so much evil in this world from men and women and get strotyped out and us to it get lied to all the time and us to it to any way if you are honest dont us looks and dont play games would love to chat with you have a good one.

–[][][]–[][][]–Put This
–[][][]–[][][]–
–[][][]–[][][]–On Your
–[][][]–[][][]–
–[][][]–[][][]–Profile If
–[][][]–[][][]–
–[][][]–[][][]–You Believe
–[][][]–[][][]–
–[][][]–[][][]–9/11 Was
–[][][]–[][][]–
–[][][]–[][][]–An
–[][][]–[][][]–
–[][][]–[][][]–INSIDE JOB

Country: United States
Interests and Hobbies: fixing thangs rebulding housess
Movies and Shows: lots
Music: lots more
Books: none “

Now, if you can believe this, Bill has some opinions, and he thinks that his unique outlook on thangs is just what the internet was missing.

You see, somehow, over the years, ladies have not seen in Bill what the internet sees in Bill; A hazel-eyed truther who doesn’t read, and enjoys lots of music. Instead, they’ve seen a 5′6 chap dressed in a tight-fitting baseball cap and we may presume some Nascar inspired jacket, sniffing loudly in public and shirking away from them and their damnable eyes. He’s a lot like Two Face, in the way that he has two lives but he is industrially scarred in each. So, really, not that much like Two Face, but a lot like a guy who cries in the shower as his lifeless, fish eyes scan the entirety of his mangled body. So, Two Face.

Bill seems to hold it against women, that none of them have ever held it against him. See, it’s that sort of word play that gets me all the puss in town. Bill, take note!

So, instead of slinking off to wherever it is ugly people go when they realize they can’t be loved, prison or something I guess, Bill picked up his gnarled yellow fingers and began his screed.

True Forced Loneliness.

It seems the only thing a woman’s ruinous touch hasn’t corrupted in this world is Bill.
Alright, there are 332 videos by the Li’lest He-Man Woman Hater, and I’ve tried to narrow it down to a few choice bits.
–COPS, NINE ONE ONE WAS DONE BY THE GOVERNMENT SO INVESTIGATE IT I GUESS!
(comment highlight- Starwatch made the point that:
“Lets look at the record of the Ignorant US police Force, and incompetent Military.
Korea = Stand off Commies win by default.
Vietnam = US loses off its ass, abandoned effort.
Iraq = Lost to Iran and Moslems by ignorant Feminist US military and Red Communist style reforms that did not work for the USSR.
Cold War= Us armed Forces never engaged the USSR and Lost the Culture war to resident Leftist.“)
You see me now a veteran, of a thousand Culture Wars! I’ve been sipping lattes so long, and my capitulation to the red menace that is Communism and menstruation is the stuff of lore.

–WOMEN GET THEMSELVES KILLED BY SERIAL KILLERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T PUT OUT!
(Comment highlight- Bill himself had this to say about those crazy men and women who suggest women are physically weaker than men:
“I have some vedos you could see of 3 woman betting up a guy I have seen a girl hit a boy and brake his mouth wide open I have seen woman whom are every bet as strong as a man so dont eveion go there with me you are wrung no one should hit no one and woman need to stop telling boys there not to hit a girl it is wrung boys are gilrs no one hits no one end of sorty“)
Interesting theory, doctor. Please, continue. Also, please send stated vedos in unmarked box, sounds hot.

You might’ve been wondering why on occasion Bill’s furious monologues are one quarter literate.
Bill’s got himself a friend, and no one wants to make him theirs. Meet Dwayne, The Leopold to Bill’s Loeb. Dwayne is capable of writing things that people can read, so he’s a major asset to True Forced Loneliness.

They plan on picketing, taking it to the streets at some point. I’m assuming they’ll be picketing beauty salons, bars, and parties of ten (10) or more. Anywhere people are having fun, Bill and Dwayne may be there with a couple of crudely drawn signs, cursing them and their smiles. That is, if Dwayne is actually capable of moving from that chair and Bill outsources the actual writing of his sign.

If not, it’ll just be one lonely, short old man with a garbled nonsense sign standing outside of a strip club.
JUST ANOTHAAAA DAAAAAAY

TFL has also promised to boycott internet dating sites. Now this might actually do something, I mean, taking out of the internet dating equation one enormous turtleman and and one tiny fellow who enjoys wrestling? AND they’re both misogynists, AND they feel wronged by the world, AND they’ve tried to justify their pathetic malexistence by calling it a lifestyle? Jesus Christ, they’re going to take down adultfriendfinder!

They’re the Abbott and Costello of being alone forever, the Mutt and Jeff of diverting blame, and the Laurel and Hardy of never feeling the touch of another person: they’re Dwayne and Bill, a new generation of funnymen.

TFL I…I…think I love you. I want to spend the rest of our lives together, will you marry me?
SIKE no man or woman could ever love you LOLLIN2DAY&4EVA

I’m just glad to know that their genetic material will stop somewhere near the ‘B’ key, and never continue into the fetid womb of some woman in a coma or something.
Just the way God intended!

rahm gall

Ron Paul was a bit of a joke of a candidate, and most all people who supported him were internet nerds, people who don’t want to pay taxes, and people who don’t know a single thing about politics, except that “RAR RAR EVERYBODY IS WRONG WHY CANT SOMEONE ALTERNATIVE RUN THE COUNTRY FOR ONCE”.

I get where they’re coming from, I’m more often than not disappointed with the Democratic Party’s decisions, lack of will, and general acceptance of their second-tier party position. The answer isn’t in a silly little old man with silly little ideas, the answer is in true Progressives getting spots in the legislature. My answer, at least.

What is your Libertarian dream-world modeled after, anyway? Ayn Rand’s wet dreams and a prayer?
What is a successful Libertarian society that can be cited as an example of it’s translation into the real world, you know, out of the thought’s of a guy wearing an ugly sweater setting up a “RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL” camp in Second Life? That dog with two dongs thinks you ought to be able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and make your own decisions about where your kids go to school I mean gtfo if u dont

Where on Earth is it that the government doesn’t mandate the minimum wage? Did Ron Paul’s legion of waitstaff and young people really think that the market is going to look out for them?

Ron Paul was a strange-minded, anti-science, little old fellow who managed to be able to fit his name into the internet culture; all together, a blip on the political register. His supporters, the lot of them young people who are liberal on the social issues, will eventually fall in line with the Democratic party and accept that they are at heart, progressive, or they will just abandon the political process.

This is a two party system: Welcome to the USA! More focus should be on redefining the parties, maybe even “broadening the tent”, not allowing completely unproven and untested political theories have a lot of say in our governing. Libertarianism as a platform had some interesting ideas, to be sure. So does Socialism, so does Fascism, so does Democracy, so does Communism, so did (my personal favorite) Oligarchies. I’m not opposed to folding in some of their policy ideas into the fray, but an entire Libertarian presidency? Ridiculous, it’s impossible. It never will happen, and never has happened. At least the other political theories I cited have little deformed feet and tiny boots to stand on, they’ve been put into play at some place in the world and in time, but their’s is a completely untested hypothesis.

That doesn’t change the fact that they had some interesting ideas, a few of which I could definitely get behind.

One issue I felt Ron Paul had a lot of good points on, was crime. He was my Dog on crime, from what I understand. Interested in rehabilitation, alternative sentencing, opposed to the death penalty, the full nine yards. Few politicians get my vote when it comes to crime, as they all try so desperately to out-tough each other, due to Willy Horton ads of the past, and just the whole war on crime/drugs atmosphere created under the 80s administrations.

One thing I’ll give the guy, which I don’t give this to many people, is that he was pro-ALL-life. He was anti-abortion, but I find that a lot more toothsome and understandable when a guy is also anti-capital punishment, and anti-miltary draft. His platform didn’t want any person’s (as defined, also fetuses) murder sanctioned by the state.

As for the tax issue, which is of course, the main craw-sticker of the Libertarian’s Cheap Old Sweater, Musty Corduroy Slacks, and Ugly Old Mustache contingency; be real with me, baby! All successful nations, nations measured as more successful than the United States, tax their citizens a hell of a lot more than we do. The way of the future, clearly, is a more socialized system of government. Primitive worlds had small tributes, the modern industrialized nations have big taxes, and their citizens live a lot longer and better than the former’s.

I think Libertarians need to exist in our country, just the same as any ‘alternative’ political doctrine needs to exist. To provide advocacy of something new, something different. To encourage debate and thought. I just happen to think their overall image of the future of this country is absurd. Many excellent points are made by the Libertarian party as whole (Civil liberties issues, privacy of information, a lot of foreign policy decisions, free trade, net neutrality) , and anything that encourages reflection on our current policies is good, but I’d never vote for one, based on the tax theory. I think it’s not the most insane idea I’ve ever heard, there has certainly been worse theories presented, but like I said, be real. Look at every other nation we can measure as a success in the world: how are their people taxed? How long are they alive, and how well are they living? How happy do they poll? How progressive are their policies? How socialized their medicine?

The answer isn’t in a tiny government that is drained of all it’s income, the answer is in a refocus of our current government and our tax money, and a return to it’s former strength under…any administration other than our current one.

That is the way this country is going to have to turn, if we want to keep up with our Canadian Joneses, and our European Johanesses.

Which, I assume, we do.

p.s. if any canadians, danes or swedes find themselves reading this in between visiting the doctor and frolicking in a beautiful countryside among other 6′5 statuesque archangels, feel free to marry me

important blues

Fazoli’s is terrible, I don’t know how they’ve stayed in business all of these years.  Maybe I am being a little harsh, but goshes upon goshes, their pizza is just so-so.   It’s hard to find a food as polite as Fazoli’s pizza.  It’s like it doesn’t want to intrude on your mouth or anything, and just occasionally reminds you that it is made up of cheese and sauce.  “Hey, no big deal guy, I mean if you’re busy you can just mindlessly chew on me for awhile.  Might take the edge off, I know you’ve got a lot of work to do.  I’m pizza and all, but I’m not all self-important about it, I mean, you’ve got other things going on, you don’t HAVE to enjoy me.  I’ll always be here.”

The rest of their menu is even worse, just to look at.   Oh, spaghetti with meat sauce, but you’ve put it in the oven?  You spoil me!  They’ve got some sort of sandwich line now, but from what I could tell, they all included some sort of pork derivative and mayonnaise, which are two things I just do not eat.

I got a wee dram of things done today.  I set my driver’s test appointment up for the 25th at two in the afternoon.  Let’s hope I don’t run directly into a car this time.  Parallel parking is lame anyway, and whoever owned the car in question it was didn’t choose to pursue the damages.  It was a surface dent, so I’m sure if they had one of those popping sort of things they didn’t even have to care at all.  The car is no longer parked out on the street, though.  Maybe I actually saved them!  In the future, someone was going to sideswipe them going into the car.  I knew this, I just didn’t want to tell anybody.  Once the FBI gets wind of your ability to see unlikely car-related events in the future, your world goes topsy-turvy and you meet somebody hot to travel the nation with, avoiding a shady organization that has been around since the dawn of time whose sole reason for existing is to kill people like you, for some reason, and not to utilize those powers for their own good or anything (ATTN: do not steal this novel idea).

I also got my dad his Father’s Day present, and my uncle his birthday gift.  I don’t think I’ve bothered to write about my personal life since I was like, 14.  It was then I realized no one was interested, not even my friends, unless they were explicitly mentioned.  Same here though, what did I care what some other 14 year old dongus thought about MTV?  Spoiler alert: they hated it, ‘too commercial’.  Full disclosure: I love(d) MTV.

Now that I don’t even really have friends, much less ones that I have any reason to mention, I know this blog entry will get as much press as a dog coughing.

So consider it a review of Fazoli’s pizza.

rapidshare limitations

dragging me down! Also, what is the deal with the small amount of Cher uploads in the torrent site/p2p community? I can find quite a few “Greatest Hits” and “Solid Golds!” of hers, but very little in the way of actual albums.

Especially any early era Cher. I’m specifically looking for 66-75, a group of years which apparently has a pox on it when it comes to the file-sharing community. I’ve found a Rapidshare set of her earlier work, but you know how Rapidshare is. Download something, wait an hour. Fie on them, a fine fie!

In the way of music, I got my XXXclusive Giddle & Boyd heart-shaped and absolutely adorable record today, “Going Steady with Peggy Moffitt”. It’s 44/1000, signed by Giddle but not by Boyd Rice, unfortunately. I figured it would’ve been both, but eh, take what you can get! I’ve not listened to it yet, because my record player is totally broken, but I hope to remedy that soon.  Has some excellent looking songs on there, ‘Contact’ and ‘Rocket USA’ I’m particularly waiting to hear.

I’m really, really dreaming of one of those USB record players. They are around one hundred dollars, and I presently have around eleven dollars, but it would be the best thing around. I’ve read some reviews, and they aren’t the most sound piece of machinery ever, but just being able to rip from vinyl would be enough for me.

I paid for my last.fm subscription again this month, after about 6 months without.  I’m traveling between houses, so it’s worth it to have a little piece of my home hard-drive with me. This laptop has a minimal amount of space, and is presently taken up by a whole lot of music blog spur-of-the-moment downloads.

There are only so many times you can listen to Bill Bissett and the Mandan Massacre before getting over the kitsch value. That amount of times is two (2).

So the personal last.fm station was worth the three dollars this month.  Also, it allows me to see who has looked at my last.fm page, which is not very interesting outside of the strange revelation that most people who visit my page are from Spain or Slavic nations.   The Slavic makes sense, as I always picture that region to be sepia-toned with a soundtrack similar to my taste, but Spain?  Seems too cheery to be interested in what funeral dirge I’m listening to.

As for Rapidshare’s premium option, it’s fourteen dollars a month and probably totally worth it, I just do not have the fourteen to spare presently. Pathetic? I need a job.

Lately, I’ve spent a lot more time trying to find covers of songs I already know I like, done in the exact style they were originally intended to be performed. So, no techno remixes of ‘I Want a Lip’. I’m not looking to break out of my current pattern, I just want to find every version of ‘Goin’ Out of My Head’ ever done. What a gorgeous song.

alright, for a blog I assumed was going to be interesting, this has turned out poorly. Whenever other people go on about their musical interests like the whole world is watching, I think it’s a bit silly. So, I will just end it here. I’d murder about any animal set in front of me for a USB record player, though. Except a bear. Not worth the risk.
BOY THIS WORDPRESS IS SHAPING UP TO BE THE BEST IDEA IVE EVER HAD

too much

Hilary Clinton gave a very adequate speech today, that I was more or less happy with. The only thing that stuck out as rage-inducing was her insistence that she, as a woman, running for elected office was hitherto absolutely unheard of.

I’ve got no problem with the ladies, sisters are doin’ it for themselves and all, but don’t act like you’re breaking new ground in the world, that you’re the one to finally shatter that political ‘glass ceiling’. You’re not doing me any favors, ma’am. I’d be ashamed if the first female president of the United States was such a panderer, and a woman who wouldn’t even have a prayer in a Senatorial election if it wasn’t for the former office of her husband, that Clinton brand.

When I picture America’s first ladytype president, I picture a woman who really did make herself completely. I don’t disparage HRC’s career, and what she’s done for herself outside of politics, but I’d want the first female president to have came from a clean slate, one who entered politics standing on her own platform. That’s strength. It discourages me when I see that if a woman wants to hold office, she has to be attached to a popular man who already did, and when she does so, she acts as if this is a new feat. It’s very dependent, which is something that wouldn’t make me shine the light of pride from my terrible, terrible, dark and secret place.

That’s enough of that, really. She’s suspended her campaign, she gave a lovely little speech, and she is, after all, a Democrat. It just aggravated me to see all the self-patting over something that has been done before. An entirely different blog could be written about her more fervent supporters, a clan of cavebears, fags, hags, and cuckolds.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against cuckolds, hags, and fags (but i can’t stand those goddamn cavebears RUINING THIS COUNTRY, CAUSIN 9/11), and I don’t have a problem with someone who chose Hilary Clinton over Barack Obama. It’s a matter of choice, and hey, we’re all Democrats. I had to remind myself of that often during the course of this primary. Those that earn my ire are the ones that say they’ll vote for McCain before they’ll vote for Obama. I know that they’re probably just saying that, but even the suggestion I find distasteful.

If you’re a woman, voting for McCain out of bitterness is about the silliest thing in the world. He’s not the candidate for you, not on “women’s issues“, not on personal dealings with women, not to mention that the you of 6 months ago was a Democrat, which is about as far away from John McCain as his urine stream is from it’s intended destination.  More on John McCain’s incompetence and presumed incontinence in a later blog.

Also, I’d love for the 40+ women of the voting block to rise above the vindictive harpy stereotype. Don’t ruin this for all of us, just because you didn’t get your girl.
Women in power is not unheard of. After all, we are naturally about half the population. We already have some power.   Sure, we don’t all have it as easy as a wealthy white male, but no one does, and depending on our tax bracket, we’re just one notch below.

What is unheard of, is a member of a minority population being the leader of their nation. Less than twenty percent of people in the United States are black. He’ll be the first leader of a country that is mostly comprised of people other than his ethnic group. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. If I’m incorrect, Mystery Blog Reader, feel free to show me an example or two.

Blah blah I love Barack Obama blah blah blah

What I really opened up this “New Post” window for was this news:
Al Franken Wins Minnesota’s Primary Sort-Of Thing, Becomes Democratic Nominee for Senate!

Minnesota used to be a real Democratic hold out, but things started swinging red in the past years. We know the pendulum is heading back in every other state, the special elections this year attest to that, and the record Democratic turn-out in this primary season as well, so it makes sense that Minnesota will come back home.

What I love about Al Franken, aside from him being the dingdang funniest fellow in town, is that he is a true Progressive, a man that isn’t shirking away from the liberal label. He’s really “one of us”, in a sea of “sort of like”s, “not as bad as”, Joe Liebermans, and “lesser of two”s.

Interesting note, Minnesota’s Democratic Party is technically The Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, which I believe speaks to their progressive past, and hopefully, their progressive future. Senator Wellstone was their representative for an unfortunately short amount of time, another man who was never afraid of the “Liberal” label, and did what was right.  More disparagement of the false femininity charges levied against liberal men in a later blog.  WARNING: it will more than likely turn into something about leather daddies, the gun portrayed as an extension of the dongus, and a criticism of the modern-era’s definition of masculinity at it’s trunk.

I didn’t write this blog half as funny as it should’ve been, but I’m sure I’ll get into my groove, and boy, I’ll have to prove my humor to you. I’ve been saving my hateful screeds for Myyyyyspace bulletins for so long, it feels so strange to give something a title, and to have a little visual editor above me. Oh good, they have HTML as an option too. That will feel more homey.

This blog will get funny, I promise :0) :0) :0)

:0)

there were

Joanna
JoJoanna
sure look good to me
Joanna, JoJoanna
sweet sight for these tired eyes to see
you fill my heart with hope
your smile, like cinemascope
and oh oh oh, OH joanna
youre the top banana to me and thats all!
–Rodley V.T. McKuen

No one is named Joanna–

–rabbits dogs and the passing time
its been a long time since i kept any sort of stjstgjhstkghj4k5hjkth ksrhkrhg swrungfffub
i still think it is dumb
RAPIDSHARE UPLOADS
rod mckuen and anita kerr – la mer
whatever it is that music blogs say when they’re sharing files, i am saying that
if Rod McKuen and Anita Kerr or their respective estates are unhappy with this, i’ll be more than happy to shwth5h3597 nhsethejth 3udt.

also

in one retail location of a multinational multi-tiered company there is a group of Targetted Individuals who meet every second afternoon that is relatively cloud-free and vaguely rosy:
The UARTF is unaware
each individual maintains a mouthform and a humanshape that is supposed to indicate their level of target
their methods arher jhtjshtkst but continue to improve
the bees direct them to which fodos and foods are poisoned by SWNF care of the port of hamsterdam

but seriously The Strangers just wasn’t that good of a movie.not like gilgafield

its never like giglagfield ithsethje never like ksghset ilfang
GILGAMESHFIELD

gargamesh

A Tail of Two Kitties
A Tao of Two Titties
A Tray of Two Biddies
A Tram of Two MIDIs

goodbye
it was nice meeting you